But I believe that being open-minded really just means that you're tolerant of views different from your own. And really, I think I've accepted a lot of other people's views without adopting them. I think monogamy's the best system we've got, but if people engage in polygamy, it's fine with me. I'm an ex-Catholic and don't think there's an afterlife, but if other people think I'm going to hell, I'm not too bothered by it. I don't agree with China's censorship of their media, but I adapted and worked around it while I was living in Beijing. (I hope that sentence doesn't block my LJ from friends in Beijing!) I work within the system; I don't expect others to change for me, so I either change, or I accept things as they are.
This mindset has worked for me for a long time. But I suspect that it's kept me from defending the things I really ought to defend instead of just sitting back complacently. I hate rudeness, but I tolerate even that, and when I don't, I just leave the room. Maybe part of it is just a matter of developing some backbone, but maybe it's really just me not caring enough, not thinking those things are worth fighting about. If other people feel they're worth fighting about, then fine, let them fight about it.
In other words, I feel like I ought to care, and I do. But just not enough. And somehow, this bothers me.
- Mood:concerned
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Comments
This is why I love you, because at your most base level, this is fundamentally who you are and how I've always known you. It is one of your most admirable, if not crushworthy traits. You accept people as they are and on your own terms. You have to be somewhat careful with that whole developing a backbone thing, oftentimes what gets mistaken for you offering an opinion or making a suggestion one has yet to consider gets taken as judgement and/or condemnation. I find that it's all about how you explain things or preface yourself before you get to the meat and potatoes of making the point.
I run into problems with this because I sometimes don't have the filter that can tell me the difference between tapping someone on the shoulder and smacking them with a baseball bat. I get frustrated and annoyed if I feel like it's a simple problem blown out of proportion and made difficult from lack of common sense. I'm sure it comes off as rudeness in some cases, but at the end of it all I can live with that - I cannot live with not having a voice and not being able to say what I want or need to say, whether it gets heard or not is anyone's guess and I'm not responsible for that but I can at least live with it.
I'm *really* complacent. I don't care if people disagree, and I just wish everyone would just get along instead of wasting so much time and energy trying to be right. I think this kind of attitude can put good people in danger, too; if someone needs my help, what would I actually do?
Do you think that your lack of backbone/penchant towards complacency is some sort of defense mechanism? As for what happens when push comes to shove, do you suppose that you'd not be of assistance if someone really reqiured it of you? I do, if only because you're a sweetheart - questioning yourself is good, though. Checks & balances and that sort of thing. Also, there's a big difference between being there if someone needed you and being there in a true crisis - then you get into strengths you never knew you even had sometimes.